Interview
by Tsukiko Rain
Summary: This is a response I wrote to an English prompt. Not nearly as funny as Toast, but oh well.
1. Jr and chaos

This was written for an English prompt. Some bits don't make sense without having knowledge of the events in Xenosaga II, and the ninja thing won't make sense unless you've read Toast, which was written by Sapphire Dragon and I. The prompt was to create an interview situation where the interview ends with something along the lines of "Sorry, we've already got someone with your qualifications". It's kind of strange, really. Oh well.

My apologies to the people who are waiting for additions to the other fictions, but Sapphire Dragon and I have been very bothered by how school is going. Our Statistics teacher actually teaches, our Sociology and English teachers are too funny to not pay attention to, and our Environmental Science teacher assigned seats (I'm nowhere near where she is). So I'm very sorry.

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"I have a lot of experience. A lot. Lots and lots and lots and lots and..."

"How much sugar have you had today?"

"Lots and lots and lots and lots and..."

The red-haired boy behind the desk narrowed his eyes. "Right. Next!"

The girl with the bag of marshmallows was quickly ushered out, and a young man was dragged in by two attendants; he was kicking and screaming.

"Hey! I never said I wanted to come! I don't want to be here! Let me go; I need to run away! THE NINJAS ARE COMING!"

This might be even worse than the last one.

Suddenly, the young man stopped and looked straight at the boy with a serious and contemplative expression. The boy had red hair, blue eyes, and appeared to be about twelve…

"I think I know you."

The boy grinned at the silver-haired young man who faced him. "I think I know you, too. You might as well agree to be interviewed; I don't think the ninjas will come here. You'll be able to relax for a bit." He motioned for the attendants to release the man.

"Now," the boy leaned forward onto his desk, "what experience do you have?"

"With what?"

"With video games."

The man brought a hand to his chin in thought. "Well, actually… I don't play them."

Blue eyes narrowed as the boy frowned. "You lose a point there… All right. How about experience in dealing with annoying younger brothers who are way too bossy for their own good?"

"Which brother?"

"The one that's not dead."

"Oh… Well, I've dealt with rabid fan girls and evil ninjas; does that count?"

"I guess so…" The boy leaned back in his chair. "All right, last question."

The young man nodded.

"How good are you at dealing with big ugly monster-like things?"

A grin spread across the young man's face. "Very."

"You're hired!"

"…But I already work for you."

"Oh, right. Um… We already have someone with your qualifications, then."


	2. Jin and Gaignun

This... is odd. I ignored the ending statement of the other one, so meh. Thanks to Blue Persuasion for giving me the final push to get this started. Thanks to her, there's another two coming for this one. Unfortunately, my Advanced Comp teacher has assigned another short story (this makes three!), so time's limited. Basic script is done, though.

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"So let me get this straight... You got fired."

The dark-haired man who sat on the other side of the desk nodded calmly as confirmation.

"Don't you employ yourself?" The conservative man narrowed his eyes. He sat with his head on his hands and wore a serious expression.

The younger of the two men nodded again.

"So," the first man shifted, putting more weight on his right elbow than on his left, "how the heck did you get fired?"

There was a glint in the left of a pair of green eyes. "I don't think you want to know."

The first man raised his left hand to cover his mouth as he coughed. "Right then."

The dark figure opposite raised his eyes to his surroundings. "This place does look nice, though."

"One thing."

The eyes returned to the long-haired man behind the desk.

"If I hire you," he began, "don't take over the business behind my back and turn it into some huge corporation of doom, okay?"

The younger man would have grinned if he had been capable of it (he didn't seem to like the action), and told the first man that there was nothing to worry about.

"Right then. Here we go." The traditionalist cleared his throat. "First question: are you attracted to my sister?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"A good one."

The green-eyed man sighed. "Is that why you've set up all those pitfalls outside?"

"How do you know about those?" The man behind the desk demanded.

"Sources."

Eyes narrowed yet again, anger faded, and a look of annoyance set in. "Allen fell in again, didn't he."

Another near-grin. "Yes. You may want to get him out before he starves to death."

The conservative coughed lightly. "Perhaps... But let's move on. Do you know how to order books?"

"Alphabetically?"

"No. There's a whole complex, though useful sys-"

"I don't want to know."

The older man grinned. "Wrong answer! I don't want to hire you. You're too silly."

The younger sighed. "I rehired myself again anyway. You're too strange."

"It's settled, then."

"Quite so."


End file.
